Boxing Clever
by mishka jayne
Summary: Suprisingly enough, it was Dudley who provided him with the solution. The reasons he went with the whole crazy scheme were simple, but there was no way he could have predicted the outcomes. This 'game' may very well change everything. Eventual HD slash.
1. Chapter 1

Boxing Clever

Ch1.

Harry sighed and shifted on his bed, stretching his left foot out to adjust the angle of Dudley's recently repaired spare fan. The hot and humid summer days had seemingly bleed into one another as Harry spent day after day lazing around, depressed and brooding about Sirius. Despite Remus' heartfelt explanation just before he left the station regarding the Orders sanctions on Owl Post, the absence of his regular summer correspondence with Hermione and Ron was making him feel forgotten, lonely and just a little bit paranoid, rather than safe and secure.

Harry's avoidance of the Dursley's was purely a matter of survival. Dudley easily stared down at him from a lofty six foot four, which combined with his recent weight loss and training regime left him looking more like an intimidating bouncer than a pig in a wig. Harry tried his hardest to ignore Vernon's overbearing intense pride in his son's boxing feats and Petunia's near constant squealing over Dudley's physical changes. He failed to react to the frequent snide remarks regarding his petite, feminine appearance, lack of growth spurts and general all round 'freakishness'. Still, despite Uncle Vernon's hardest attempts to get a reaction that would merit punishment, Harry's apathy left him not caring enough to even batter an eyelid, let alone get worked up about it. He was grateful that their abuse was only verbal, and not nearly as physical as it had been in the past. It seemed that the Dursley's had taken Mad Eye's threats to heart.

It was Dudley's radically changed behaviour which eventually snapped Harry out of his funk. All summer, Harry had been receiving strangely speculative, almost guilty glances from Dudley the few times he had enough appetite to eat in the kitchen. Then there was the repaired fan that he found dumped in the middle of his bedroom after his habitual stroll around the block one afternoon. Dudley had been eerily quiet, having abandoned his former favourite pastime, Harry Hunting, and had thrown barely an insult at him all summer. Vernon and Petunia naturally were oblivious to any changes in their son's behaviour, so Harry was alone in his observations of the puzzling pleasant Dudley.

It wasn't until a month had passed before Harry got his answer. While Vernon and Petunia were visiting an ill Aunt Marge, Dudley was left at the house with Harry in order to recover from the slight cold he had caught a few days earlier. Harry was startled out of his moping when he felt the end of his bed sink right down.

"Eh, Harry," Dudley had tentatively stammered, "can we talk. I have to tell you something." Harry merely sighed, pulled his knees up under his chin and leaned back against the head board.

"Go ahead."

Dudley nervously cleared his throat. "Um Harry, um, I…"

"Yes?" Harry posed. Dudley dropped his head down to gaze at his hands.

"I'm sorry," he burst out. Harry's mouth dropped in shock and brows shot up his forehead.

"I'm sorry for making the last 16 years of your life hell, for teasing you about your magic and your friends, for 'Harry Hunting'. I'm even sorry for being mean to you about that Cedric guy and your godfather, Sirius."

"What do you know about Sirius," Harry croaked, gaping at Dudley with a look of pure terror.

"I know that he means a lot to you, and that you blame yourself for his death. But it's not your fault really; it's all that Lord Whatsy-names. From what I've herd you yell when your asleep, he sure did do a number on you." Dudley reached over and placed one of his large hands over Harry's smaller ones. "It's all right Harry; it's not your fault."

"I know that," Harry stammered, "it's just sometimes… if I only I didn't…"

"Harry." Harry looked up into Dudley's sympathetic brown eyes.

"Why? Why all this? Why now?"

"It's funny how things can just come out of the blue and change your life. I suppose that you can relate to that. I wised up to a couple of harsh truths during the year. You know those jerks that I used to hang out with?"

"Piers and that?"

"Yeah, well, I overheard them talking. They said that they only ever had hang out with me because of my 'bodyguard' potential, and more recently to score chicks from my status as a boxer. They never thought I was cool or smart, like they had told me. After hearing that, I realised that I never want anything to do with them again." Dudley let in a deep, shuddering breath, and then looked up from his hands briefly into Harry's eyes. "So, I re-evaluated my life. I realised what an immature prick I had been to everyone, but especially to you. I started to take pride in my school work." He smiled bleakly "I can only make a career out of boxing for so long, you know. My grades aren't perfect or anything, but they are gradually improving. This all happened right before summer holidays. I've made new friends since, nice ones, real friends you know. I even told them a little about you. Said I had a cousin in boarding school and that we unfortunately had never really got along. That I wanted to change that." Dudley dropped his head back down again. "Please don't get angry, but I told them that your godfather recently passed on. I was really worried about you; you weren't eating or even talking. You were a shadow of your former self. They advised me to approach you, to talk to you; I just couldn't seem to …."

"Dudley. I – I don't know what to say. I'm honestly touched. As for the rest, I've been thinking over the holidays. I believe we should start over."

"I'm… you're forgiving me?"

"Yes, Dudley. I've forgiven you."

Dudley pulled Harry into a bone crushing hug, sobbing thank you over and over into his ear. Dudley released him, wiping a stray tear away just as Harry felt his arms begin to tingle from the pressure exerted on them.

"Um Harry, there is one more thing. You know how I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, some how, well, um…"

"What is it Dudley?" Harry said, gently squeezing his cousin's large hand to encourage him to continue.

"Well, I seem to have gotten myself into a bit of a fix. My new friends have invited both of us to a party in a fortnight's time, just before school starts back. It'd be rude to miss to this one, especially since I've missed the last two all ready. It's for my mate Vinnie. You see, I met Vin at the gym where I do my boxing training. He is a natural at boxing, but strangely," Dudley frowned, "doesn't seem to have that many friends at school."

"I don't see what the problem is?" Harry asked confusedly, looking at the ceiling.

"They've invited you too, but the catch is Vin thinks you're a girl."

"What?" Harry yelped, jumping two foot of the bed in shock. "Why on earth would he think something like that?"

"Well, you see, I remember mum complaining about you a being 'famous freak', or something like that, so I kinda decided to call you 'Har'. Vin's not exactly the brightest either, and came to this conclusion by him self. I think he might have misunderstood me or something." Dudley, frowning slightly, pulled a slightly crumpled invitation out of his jeans pocket. Harry read the fine silver writing on the black paper;

_Dudley and Harmony are invited to Vincent's 17th Birthday Celebration!_

Sighing deeply, Harry lightly stepped off his bed and walked over to the bathroom, where Dudley found him peering intensely at himself in the mirror, clenching his glasses in his right hand.

"You'll owe me big time after this is over, you realise," Harry muttered to the large, blurry form over his shoulder

"You mean, you'll do it?" Dudley queried, gazing in absolute shock at Harry, "but why? Har, I could have sworn that you'd have bitten my head off for even suggesting it. Why are you willing to do it?" Deciding to ignore the abbreviation of his name, Harry turned grinning to face Dudley.

"What can I say? I'm curious to meet these new friends of yours and I'm curious to see if I can meet the challenge and pull this off, not to mention this is excellent black mail material I may obtain by doing this. You only live once, my dear Didkins." Dudley emitted a deep, throaty laugh, cringing slightly at Harry's use of Aunt Petunia's old nick-name for him. "And also, it's not like I'll be me or anything. For once, I'll have complete anonymity. I'll be Harmony." Harry grinned once again at the reflection over his shoulder. Dudley had just given him the perfect chance to be a completely normal, regular person for a change. Well, mostly normal anyway. Plus it sounded like fun. "But how ever are we going to get past Vernon and Petunia?"


	2. Chapter 2

The next two weeks leading up to the party were like a whirlwind for Harry, in which he got to know the 'real' Dudley Dursley quite well. While Vernon was at work and Petunia out at a friend's house, socializing, Harry was dragged out shopping almost daily by Dudley. Harry was flabbergasted by his generosity: he had been bombarded by books on fashion and beauty tips, piles of cosmetics, shoes, accessories, girl's clothes and even contact lenses. When ever Harry tried to complain about the extravagance, his cousin just told him to stop winging and eat more food. Hermione and Ron had nothing on Dudley when it came to mothering.

Harry sat nervously on the edge of the sofa in the lounge room. It was 3 days before the party and Vernon had all of a sudden called a family meeting. To Harry, based on past occurrences, this could only mean bad news.

"You, boy," Vernon barked.

"Yes sir," stammered Harry in response.

"Your aunt and I are going away for the weekend, on the trip that she won in a competition. Dudley will drive you to the station on Monday in his new B.M.W. I want you on your best behaviour. You are not to so much as sneeze or I will personally make you life hell when you come back for the last time. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal, sir."

"Now Dudley, I want you to ensure that Harry doesn't step out of line." Vernon walked over to Dudley and clasped his shoulder. "You're the man of the house. Now, you'd better go and say goodbye to your mother before she tears up. We need to be at the airport in half an hour." With that, Vernon excited the lounge, following Dudley into the hallway, leavening a clearly elated Harry grinning behind him.

"**Harry!**" Dudley yelled, pounding on the bathroom door. "Harry, you've been in there since midday. What the _hell_ have you been doing in there? It surely can't take 2 and a half hours to take a shower!"

"You ready then, Dudley?"

"Of course I am – I have been _ready_ for over an hour now. Come on Harry, we've got to …whoa." Harry stepped out from the bathroom, chuckling amusedly at Dudley's completely gob smacked expression.

"Cat got your tongue, Didkins. Or would I be more convincing wearing your Eminem t-shirt?"

"Harry – you look amazing," Dudley stammered out, blushing lightly and shaking his head. "I mean, you scrub up as a passable chick. Come on now, we've should've left 15 minutes ago." With that they headed off down the landing.

"Wait a minute, my bag," Harry yelped, dashing back up the stairs.

"God, you're such a girl," he mumbled as Harry joined him at the front door. "Ouch, why did you hit me with that thing?"

"Practice. Now, get in and drive. _You're_ making me late."

"_Girls,_" Dudley muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes as he turned on the ignition.

Harry sat staring into his small hand held mirror, ignoring the music Dudley had blaring from the cars speakers. He chuckled to himself as he run a critical eye over his appearance. He _did_ look like a girl, grateful for the first time for his small, skinny frame and his petite features. He'd endured a pedicure, manicure, sessions with a hair stylist, a make up artist, waxing and a tanning salon. He'd carefully chosen a pair of strappy light golden sandals and a glistening knee length peach satin cocktail dress, which Dudley had helped him to select from one of the numerous boutiques they had visited over the previous weeks. Harry and been genuinely surprised by Dudley's eye for cut, colour and fashion. He'd cleansed, moisturised and even applied barely noticeable shimmering bronzing powder over his limbs and décolletage before applying sparkly, soft peach eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and glittery lip-gloss. Delicate diamante studded drops dangled from his newly pierced ears, complemented by the matching necklace clasped around his throat. He'd even gone as far as place a small, dainty, intricately designed lotus flower hair clip into the now controlled waves of his glossy black hair. There was a matching clip adorning the satin clutch which was perfectly matched the colour of his shoes. Harry shifted in his seat slightly, trying to get a better view of his hair.

"Will you stop that already? You'll move that bra of yours and I'm not pulling over so that you can fix it _again_."

Harry snapped the mirror shut and scowled at Dudley. He'd quite forgotten about having to wear one until Dudley had thrown a box containing dozens of items of girlie lingerie and fake breasts at him the other morning. Despite all the winging he'd overheard at school regarding how uncomfortable bras were, Harry didn't see what the problem was. He had found it comfortable. Scarily comfortable.

"We are there." Harry looked up and saw they were presently parked in front of a large, old fashioned country manor.

"Harmony…are you ready?" Dudley queried, offering his arm to Harry.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Harry softly murmured back as he stepped out of the car and up the front steps.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry found himself being half dragged by the wrist through a large entrance hall over towards a group of unerringly familiar faces.

"Um, Dudley. Just exactly what kind of party is this?"

"You read the invitation didn't you? It's a semi formal birthday party for Vincent. Look, there he is," Dudley said, indicating to two slightly taller men built along the same lines as himself standing across the room, heads bent in discussion.

"Hey Vincent!" Dudley boomed, whisking Harry around, eyes widening in surprise as he recognized the two large figures standing before him. They, like Dudley were wearing black dress pants, a black blazer style jacket with a more casual shirt underneath.

"Dudley," Vincent Crabbe grinned, "good to see that you've finally made it. Dudley, this is Gregory Goyle, my best mate. Greg, this is the muggle boxer I've been telling you about."

Harry bit his bottom lip at the mention of the word 'Muggle'. Obviously Dudley hadn't told him everything that was going on, considering that he barely flinched unlike how he used to whenever Harry had used that word in the past.

"And this must be your cousin, Miss Harmony James," Vincent said, bowing slightly, "pleased to meet you, Miss James."

"Pleased to meet you too, Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle", Harry politely muttered, giving a short nod to each.

"Oh dear," Goyle groaned, looking out over Dudley's shoulder. "_She's _arrived. Please excuse us for a moment." With that, they left. Harry quickly took the opportunity to drag Dudley off to one side.

"Explain your self," he hissed as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Calm down, _Harmony_," Dudley drawled in return, chuckling at the look of pure indignation on Harry's face. "I recognized Vincent's wand one day and mistakenly pointed it out. I told him my cousin had one. Which is true, I might add. That was the only time it was ever mentioned," he quickly added, seeing the look of shock and worry written all over Harry's face. "That's it, I swear. What's got you so worried all of a sudden?" Sending a frantic death glare at Dudley's puzzled expression, Harry scrunched his nose in frustration.

"Do you realize what kind of party this is?" Dudley glanced around the room then returned his perplexed gaze to Harry.

"Um, Crabbe's birthday party?"

"Right. And who do you think he invited?"

"His friends from school?"

"Bingo, Dudley. His _school_ mates. Try and guess which school they go to."

"Um, a really posh school?" Dudley answered, clearly puzzled and desperately trying to work out what Harry was going on about.

"No, Dudley," Harry hissed, "_magic_ school. And where do I go again?"

"Um... To the same school?" Harry simply nodded. "Oh," Dudley exclaimed, finally catching on.

"Nearly everyone in this room, probably the whole party are my _fellow_ _classmates_. You know, the ones who quite possibly want me dead. They definitely aren't going to think its funny if they find out I'm here. What if they recognize me?" Harry gushed out, a faint note of panic creping into his voice as he glanced nervously around the room.

"Don't be so paranoid. You can pull this off, I know you can," Dudley said, beaming down at Harry's apprehensive face. "Plus, who's going to recognize you anyway? You look nothing like the old Har…"

"Why hello there, big boy." Harry spun around, desperately trying to stifle the laugh that wanted to come out as he was greeted by the sight of Pansy Parkinson's six foot frame hanging off Goyle's arm, practically drooling at Dudley in a figure hugging, red halter neck dress.

"Oh, Pansy. This is my muggle friend from boxing, Dudley Dursley."

"Charmed," Pansy giggled, offering her hand, "I'm Pansy Parkinson. And this is your girlfriend?" she simpered, sneering at Harry with great distaste.

"Nope, just my cousin, Harmony." Pansy immediately brightened up and beamed down at Harry.

"Aren't you just a delightful, petty little thing. Hope you don't mind if I steal your cousin away for a while, do you?" she asked with a wink in Dudley's direction. Taking Harry's silence as a sign of consent, she swiftly added, "Of course you don't mind sharing this handsome gentleman. Why, who would?" she giggled behind her hand, ignoring Harry's hastily muffled choking noises.

"Um Pansy, what about Draco?" Crabbe queried.

"What about him," Pansy countered.

"Well, we thought you still liked him?"

"I used to," she replied, turning away from Harry and frowning slightly. "Remember how he kept rejecting me?" she mused. "Well, at first I thought that he was just playing hard to get, but at the end of the year I realised it wasn't me at all. There's no way it would work out between us, plus I've gotten over him. There are plenty of men out there who are more handsome," she huskily drawled, squeezing Dudley's arm and giving him a meaningful look.

"Plus, I sincerely doubt if any girl could be enough wo_man_ for him," she exclaimed, accompanied by a false sounding, high pitched laugh. Crabbe and Goyle chuckled raucously along with her. Harry just stood there as Dudley politely blinked, wondering what the joke was.

"Speak of the devil, look who's just arrived," Pansy further exclaimed, rolling her eyes and looking over Harry's shoulder. "I guess we'd better go grace him with our presence. Come on boys. As for you," she said while giving Dudley's arm a final squeeze, purring, "don't you dare move a muscle, handsome. I'll be back for you in a moment," before dragging Crabbe and Goyle with her across the room. Harry watched, smiling faintly at their departing backs. Maybe the night mightn't be as bad as he had previously thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry strolled around the room, barely listening to Dudley recapping of his most recent bout with Crabbe. Instead, he was gazing intently around the room, trying to find out just how many people from school were present. So far it seemed that the party was mainly made up of Slytherin's, mostly from his year and three above, but he also recognised a few from the year below. There was also a scattering of Ravenclaw's from various years, as well as two or three Hufflepuff's. _Purebloods, the lot of them_ Harry thought to himself. There were absolutely no Gryffindor's there at the party, well, besides himself of course. _Why am I not surprised_.

He had barely finished his observations when Pansy turned up to claim Dudley. "Sorry to have taken so long," she simpered at him, "I hope that you haven't been to overly bored in my absence." Rounding on Harry she added, "I do hope that you can manage with out your cousin for a while. You'll be alright, won't you darling." Harry, taken back by the slight trace of concern in Pansy's voice simply nodded his head dumbly in shock. "It's all right, not like anyone bites." Harry's eyes widened with further shock._ It's not a bite I'm worried about_. Pansy enveloped him in a reassuring hug and whispered into his ear, "I was only joking sweetie. If you have any problems, just find me, and I'll sort it out, ok?" She pulled back and smiled at him before turning to Dudley and placing her hand on his arm and leading him back through the crowd.

"Your cousin is such a sweet, delicate, tiny little thing. She will be all right by herself, won't she?" she asked concernedly.

"Harmony? She's just a little shy, but I'm sure she'll be just fine. But enough about her. Tell me a little about your self," Dudley cooed at Pansy, sending her off into another fit of giggles.

Still slightly shaken from Pansy's kind hearted offer, Harry wondered over to a table and picked up a glass of champagne. Turning around, Harry slowly sipping the bubbly beverage, eyes roaming around the room, paying greater attention to who was present. His eyes momentarily lingered on Dudley, who was clearly concentrating on Pansy's animated conversation with Crabbe, and then widened with the realisation that everyone else present was at least a head taller than him, even with his heals on. He shuddered and quickly drained the glass, slamming down another as it dawned on him that Pansy was flirting heavily with his cousin. _Ugh, gross,_ he thought to himself. _Not only am I a midget, but now_ _I'm also going to be scared for life_.

"Why hello there, sexy," a low gravely voice cut through his thoughts. Harry spun around only to find himself almost pressed up against some guy. Taking a quick step back, Harry recognized the leering figure standing there.

"Marcus Flint," the burly bloke offered a large, slightly sweaty hand, "Must be your first time here. I've never seen you before, and I'm sure I'd remember some one as beautiful as you." _Shit_, Harry thought to himself. _The great big ugly brute is flirting with me. Shit_.

"Do you play Quidditch?"

"Quidditch?" Harry repeated, blinking a few times. _Better not be too much like my old self. Plus, hopefully he'll go away if he thinks I'm boring_. "Um, no. I don't."

"That's such a pity. I play professionally, as a chaser for the Wimbourne Wasps. If you came come along to one of our training sessions, I could give you a _private_ lesson. I'm sure you'd be a _natural_," he added, obviously mentally undressing an increasingly nervous Harry.

Harry quickly looked away from Flint and began to desperately search for a way out. _Was that…..oh my god, it was. He's hitting on me. I think I'm going to be sick. How the hell am I going to get away from him._ _Where the fuck is Pansy when you need her_. Smiling faintly at Flint, Harry indicated silently at his empty glass. He stepped around him to approach the table only to have Flint grab his wrist.

"How about you come with me, on a _special_ tour of the house. I'm sure I could show you some of the more, er... fascinating rooms," Flint offered, leering again and indicating to a near by doorway. Harry, struggling to get his wrist out of Flint's iron grip, looked away from his lustful gaze. _It's not like I can hit him – he's twice my size._ _Now I know I'm going to be sick_.

"Flint, could you _finally_ see fit to move out of the way. You're _blocking_ the table," a silky voice drawled icily. Harry looked up, and recognizing its owner he quickly threw him a look of mixed panic, fear and apprehension. "Harmony, my dear, I was just looking for you. I do hope that Flint here hasn't been hassling you, has he?"

"Um, no," Harry quickly stammered, playing along, eternally grateful. "We were just discussing his Quidditch career." Harry shrugged his wrist out of Flint's now lax grip and hastily stepped towards Blaise Zabini. "Shall we?" Zabini simply smiled and picked two glasses, offering one to Harry along with his arm.

"Flint," he offered coldly to the now apologetic looking chaser before sweeping Harry off across the now emptying room, through a hallway and into a large, ornately decorated dining room.

Harry sat down next to Blaise, near the head of the table next to where Crabbe and Goyle were already seated. "Um, how did you know.…?"

"Who you were? Pansy asked to me to keep an eye on the new girl, Harmony. Just as well she did too. If I hadn't found you when I did ….." Blaise shuddered at the expression of disgust which flashed across Harry's face, indicating how close Flint was to fulfilling the unsaid statement. "How did he get you cornered anyway?"

"I just turned around and he there he was, blocking my way. Thank you for rescuing me back there, Blaise. I was getting very desperate."

"Not a problem at all, Harmony," Blaise replied, inclining his head. "I'd do it again in a heart beat. No one deserves the pleasure of _his _company." A puzzled look suddenly flitted across his face. "How did you that my names ……?"

"Zabini?"

They both jumped guiltily. Gazing across the table, Harry found himself looking into a pair of soft, grey rimmed silvery blue iris's, which were quickly flitting back and forth between him and Blaise. _Holy shit_ he thought. _It can't be, please don't let it be_…..

"Draco," Blaise responded as Harry inwardly groaned, still looking across at the normally expressionless blonde, who smirking in a mildly amused fashion.

"I heard Flint muttering on his way out bitching something along the lines that you'd stolen his dainty little pixie. I thought he'd finally cracked and was trying to pick up one of your … what!" Draco snapped when Blaise began to softly laugh.

"Draco, Draco, Draco," he chuckled, prompting Draco to scowl darkly. "I was only rescuing young Harmony here from Flint's unwanted attentions. That thick witted idiot was all but ready to club the poor thing over the head and drag her off to the nearest guest room."

On hearing these words, Draco immediately stopped scowling and looked at Harry, his eyes filled with concern and pity. "I'm terribly sorry to hear of your ordeal, miss…."

"James. Harmony James," Harry hastily added, offering his hand.

"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy," Draco replied smoothly, smiling as he took Harry's hand and kissed it. "Considering the serious nature of your recent _ordeal,_" he drawled, "would you like me to preform a simple memory charm on you? No one should have to remember something as disturbing as Flint's advances," he half laughed, raising an eyebrow at Harry.

"As tempting as that sounds," Harry responded, nearly craning his neck to look into Draco's eyes, "I'm afraid I'll have to pass. I should retain that particularly unpleasant memory so that when the Ministry asks, I'll have a legitimate reason to have hexed his balls off." The three of them immediately chuckled. _Wait a minute, was that an offer to help me. Draco was** nice **to **me**?_

"Perfectly understandable." _Yes, he was_. Harry took the opportunity to pay closer attention to Draco and Blaise while their attention was on their recently arrived entrées. Blaise was wearing black dress pants, soft bronze silk shirt and a casual blazer. Draco, on the other hand was wearing an expensive looking, stylish tailored charcoal suit with a soft, equally expensive looking powder blue shirt, the top two buttons undone. Both had their hair gelled in the same manner in which they wore it every day at school, and were chatting animatedly. Despite the large differences in their attire, they both managed to look, in Harry's opinion equally suave, sophisticated, and beautiful….

_Wait a minute_. _Suave, yes. But beautiful? Is it just me or are they acting, well, normal? Obviously my brain is in still shock from Flint. _

"Harmony?" Blaise ventured. "Are you all right? You haven't touched your food yet."

"Hmmm," Harry murmured, looking up. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still feeling a little nauseous. From earlier, you know." The three of them exchanged knowing glances as Goyle stood up and called for silence.

"We've all gathered her for the traditional pre-school gathering, and for Crabbe's birthday. We have two new friends here with us this year. Vincent's muggle boxing partner, Dudley Dursley," he proudly proclaimed, nodding in his direction, "and his witch cousin, Harmony James. Before we eat, I'd like to propose a toast. To my best friend Vin – Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday," everyone seated at the table said in unison, raising their glasses.

"To the new year," came a voice from the end of the table.

"To the new year," Harry mumbled along with the rest of the guests, conscious of the curious looks being cast his way. He sat back down to discover that the first course had arrived while they were busy toasting. Inhaling deeply, Harry breathed in the delicious, exotic smell wafting up from his plate. Tentativly, he picked up his fork and slowly sampled the mysterious dish. Harry nearly choked as a mass of chilli suddenly assaulted his senses. Hastily gulping down a glass of water he cast a furtive glance around the table. _No one else seems effected_. He softly nudged Blaise.

"What on earth is it?"

"Chilli Mud Crab, tai style. Delicious isn't it." Draco replied. Harry looked across into his eyes. "It's pointless talking to Blaise while he is eating. Do you like it?"

"It's a little hotter than I'm used to."

"Try adding some coconut cream then," Draco advised, handing a small jug to Harry, "You'll find it more palatable that way."

Harry blushed slightly as their fingers brushed when he accepted the container. Draco simply raised a brow at Harry before returning to his food. _Thankyou?_ Harry scolded himself. _Did I just thank Malfoy? Did I just blush at him? The champagne must be going to my head!_

He looked up from the crab he had been absently pushing around his plate only to see Dudley, who sitting next to Pansy across the table a little further down from himself, scowling darkly at him. Harry dutifully picked up some of the food and ate it. Dudley smiled then returned to his own meal. Harry looked forlornly down at his now not so appealing mud crab. _Great, not only am I going completely insane, but just when I was starting to feel hungry, I've gone and lost my appetite…….._

"You know, you really should eat something." Harry looked up to discover a concerned looking Blaise gazing at Harry's rearranged plate.

"I found the crab too spicy." _Why does everyone keep telling me to eat something. Do I look anorexic or something? It's not like I'm that thin_

"Did you add some cream? It weakens the flavour."

"Um," Harry stalled, eyes flitting across to Malfoy who was, gratefully, was currently engrossed in his own meal. "Yes, I did. Unfortunately it was still too strong for me to enjoy."

"That's a pity, Harmony. It's a really good crab."

Thankyou to all my reviewers - love you all dearly and are enormously pleased that you like my story. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter and don't hesisitate to come again! The next one will be faster comming, I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry sat there in absolute silence, picking at course after course of strange new dishes, grateful that after the first course everybody else was too absorbed in their own food to be paying any attention to him. He quickly covered being caught by Draco when the sweet, rich chocolaty mud cake with drunken strawberries had arrived by tapping Blaise on the shoulder while placing a small strawberry on his fork.

"Will there be any dancing after dinner?"

"Dancing? Vincent?" Blaise laughed. "He may not look it, but our dear Crabbe can be alarming old fashioned at times, and is smarter than he looks. When the boy says dinner party, that's exactly what he means. _Dinner_. Plus, do you think anyone could dance after eating that dinner? Even if you eat as lightly as you do, Miss Sparrow," Blaise chuckled softly, licking the last trace of dessert away from his lips. "Trust me, it's better to leave the dancing till later. Aren't I right, Draco," Blaise laughed, snatching Draco's attention away from his own demolished dessert.

"Sorry, what was that, Zabini?"

"I was just telling Harmony here how lucky she and her cousin are that Crabbe and Goyle won't be dancing tonight," he drawled, smiling amusedly at Draco's wince. "Your cousin's been subjected to enough already anyways. Lucky for him, most of us really don't give that much of a damn about that bloodline crap anymore. Gotta thank Potter for that?"

"What do mean, 'thank Potter for," Harry asked, feeling extremely confused and just a little worried.

"What Blaise is so inelegantly trying to say, Harmony, is that being out from under the thumb of controlling family members who have certain unwholesome allegiances; we are finally able to take control of our own lives. None of us here are prepared to subjudcate ourselves to some insane, delusional maniac who was defeated by an infant and can't even come to terms with himself."

"Well said," Blaise applauded while Draco grinned widely. "We really don't have a problem with muggles as such, just nasty bastards and those with serious attitude problems, like that Granger chick. Seriously, where do she and Weasly get off believing that they can treat us like Death Eaters just because were Slytherin?"

"I don't know, Blaise," Draco answered, "maybe they're just prejudiced bigots. I feel sorry for Potter though. He has to put up with both of them and Dumbledore's machinations." Harry shivered along with Blaise and Draco. He hadn't forgotten or forgiven Dumbledore for the events of the last five years. "Plus, we've had the opportunity to find about some pretty cool muggle stuff. And then there's Vin's muggle mate."

"Speaking about your cousin, he's gotta be the bravest muggle I've ever met. Either that, or the stupidest." Blaise stated, grinning widely at Harry.

"Why is that?" Harry asked innocently. _I had no idea, this is all so much to take in_, Harry thought to himself, as Blaise laughed.

"That is why." Following Draco's pointed finger, Harry turned in his chair to see Dudley making his way over, closely being followed by Pansy.

"I've come to see how you are doing," Dudley announced, smiling at Pansy who had latched onto his arm. "I hope that they have been behaving themselves around you," he half growled, cracking his knuckles threateningly and directing a pointed glance at both Draco and Blaise, who seemed unaffected.

"They have been perfect gentlemen, Dudley," Harry quickly answered._ I think that I want to get to know the real Draco and Blaise. I wonder if I would be able to once I'm back at school? _Harry mused, missing the condescending looks thrown at Dudley.

"Did you enjoy_ all_ your meal," Dudley obliviously enquired, drawing attention to Harry's barely touched dessert. Harry looked guiltily down.

"Yes, I did enjoy my meal. It was very delicious," Harry answered, laying his fork noisily down in an attempt to drown out Draco and Blaise's snorts of disbelief. _Damn it_ he thought, smiling sweetly at the now frowning Dudley, mind was racing away._ They know._ _Quick, I need to do something, before he comments about my eating habits, **again**_. Trying his absolute best not to gag on the question, he quickly asked, "Pansy, could you show me where the bathroom is please?" Ignoring him, Pansy instead turned to Dudley.

"Come on, Dudders, you just have to meet Millie," and dragged him away from Harry, calling back over her shoulder, "Blaise, do be a sweetie and assist Harmony. See you at the club!" Blaise picked up Harry's hand, apologising for Pansy's rude behaviour, leading him away from the table, informing him that Draco would get their transportation ready and to meet them by the front fountain in fifteen minutes time. _Well_, Harry thought, _I suppose that did work after all. Thank you Pansy._ Collapsing into the cubicle, he thanked the stars that the girls didn't use troughs._ Wait a minute, _he thought,_ did she just say 'club'? As in 'nightclub'?_ _Oh no. I am so screwed_


	6. Chapter 6

Harry hastily covered his mouth as he yawned widely, lazing languidly in the sun by Fortescues' Ice cream parlour, head resting on Blaise's warm shoulder, recalling the night before. He'd emerged from his toilet cubicle roughly 10 minutes after his panic attack began, only to be pounced on by a positively bouncing Blaise. "About time," he declared, glancing at the wall clock before dashing out, Harry hot on his heals. "We've got to meet Dray in five." Unsatisfied with the pace Harry was taking, Blaise stopped and swung him into his arms, then started running.

"Um Blaise," Harry stuttered, blushing furiously, "couldn't you let me down? I'm sure it'd be easier on you if I walked."

"Nonsense Harmony," Blaise replied. "Were nearly there, and it's best not to keep Dray waiting for… look, there he is!" He quickened his pace and rushed down the front staircase towards pale silver Porsche. Harry buried his burning cheeks into Blaise's jacket. _This is so embarrassing. And Malfoy's going to see this too. I'll never live this down._

Draco whistled at the approaching pair. "Damn Blaise, swept another one off her feet already I see. You'll have to teach me how you do that one day."

Laughing, Blaise said "Here, hold this," and before Harry knew what was happening, he was being deposited into a new pair of arms. Flushing furiously, Harry looked up, only to bump noses with Draco, who was peering intensely at him.

"Hmmm." Grey eyes swept over Harry's face. "You seem strangely familiar."

Eyes widening with fright, Harry quickly looked away, watching Blaise rummaging through his jacket pockets by the fountain. Draco's arms reflexively tightened in an attempt to put him at ease. _Please, I'm begging you, whoever's listening. Don't let him figure it out._

Harry felt the arms adjust their grip, and a hand gently nudge his chin up. He looked up, only to sweep his gaze to the side once more.

"I'm not sure what it is, but …"

"Found them!" Harry snapped his head around to see Blaise triumphantly holding a set of keys in the air. _Thankyou_ he breathed silently. "Light little thing, isn't she?"

"After seeing her performance at dinner though, it's not hard to see how Harmony stays so thin," Draco replied with a grin, setting Harry down. "You may have fooled your cousin," he addressed Harry with a wink, "but you'll have to do better to fool Blaise and I." He turned back to the chuckling boy. "So, where to Blaise. Your place or mine?"

"Yours, Dray. It's closer, and I can floo to my place from there. Plus, your mothers amazing with transfiguring clothing, and I really doubt my sister will have anything that'll be close to Harmony's size. But I'm driving," he said, jumping into the drivers seat. "Get in already you two, lets go. I can't wait to see your mother playing dress-ups with Harmony." Gulping, Harry slid into the back next to Draco and buckled in, ignoring Blaise's excited prattle, instead focusing his attention once more on the country side.

Barely half an hour later, after Draco had become impatient with Blaise's hooning a the cars top speed, the port key was activated and Harry found himself gawking, standing awkwardly outside of the largest building he'd seen, second only to Hogwarts. He was ushered inside the manor's opulent entry hallway, up the grand staircase and along through the maze like corridors to a large sized parlour. There he was introduced to the ever elegant Mrs Narcissa Malfoy and seated on what must be, in Harry's eyes, a priceless heirloom, politely sipping his Japanese Lime Green Tea while the conversation went on around him. Too soon, he found himself alone with Mrs Malfoy as both Blaise and Draco excused themselves to get ready.

"Miss James," Mrs Malfoy asked, drawing Harry out of his contemplation of the room, "is the tea to your satisfaction?"

"Yes it is, Mrs Malfoy. Thankyou very much," Harry responded, wondering what to make of Draco's mother, who seemed to be light-years away from the snobby woman he'd met at the Quidditch world cup.

Mrs Malfoy smiled in response and set aside her cup. "May I ask, how long have you been friends with my son?"

Harry took a quick sip to calm his nerves, _remember, I'm Harmony,_ then set his own cup aside. "I only met him this evening."

"You only met this evening? At Vincent Crabbe's party?"

Harry nodded, then quickly replied, "yes, that is correct, Mrs Malfoy," as not to appear rude.

"Please, call me Narcissa." Harry faintly smiled in response to Narcissa's. "Draco normally doesn't take a shining to people so quickly, let alone invite them over." She gave Harry a careful, measured look before sipping her tea.

"Yes, it was strange," Harry replied, eager to remove Narcissa's gaze from it's scrutiny of his face. "I got along with both him and Blaise from the get go. I may have only met them a few hours ago, but at times it felt like they've known me for years." _Well, that is the truth; at least, they know the 'other' me._ "To be honest, during the evening, they were acting almost as protective as my cousin does, if not more so." He blushed at the memory of his rescue, and subsequently from unwanted attention during dinner.

Narcissa chuckled while gracefully rising from her chair. "I can only imagine how my son will be behaving tonight then. I pity any young man wishing to dance with you while both Blaise and Draco are there." Seeing the confused expression gracing Harry's face, Narcissa explained, "It seems that my son sees you, though I may be wrong, as something like the sister he never had. I expect it's much the same for Blaise as well. It really is quite peculiar, how quickly they've considered you family, Harmony. Neither of them usually takes to strangers so quickly." She smiled warmly at the thought, but stopped when she remembered the last person her son had formed such a quick opinion about, which wasn't anywhere as positive. "He normally isn't attracted to girls. Still," she murmured to her self, dismissing all thoughts of that other child from her mind, "there _is_ something about her…"

"Miss James, if you would care to follow me," Narcissa said from the doorway, Harry joining her there after a momentary pause. "My my," she said, taking in Harry's heals and the fact she topped him by a whole head, "you certainly are a petite one, aren't you." Twirling her wand between her fingers, she led the faintly scowling Harry way down yet another series of hallways to an airy lavender and gold room. "We are here, my dear," Narcissa announced, twirling around with a flourish, indicating to a slightly raised marble platform in the rooms centre. Harry nodded and silently made his way over, admiring the beautiful landscape fresco decorating the far wall. Gulping nervously at the sight of Mrs Malfoy twirling her wand again, he lifted his chin slightly and announced that he was ready to begin.

Narcissa smiled before waving her wand, banishing his dress, leaving Harry standing in his rather feminine, lacy peach g-string, matching bra and shoes. Gulping, Harry's eyes flew to the doors, praying that Mrs Malfoy would hurry up and re-dress him before Draco and Blaise were back, or heaven forbid, she discover his not so little secret. However, Narcissa's sharp eyes took in all the details as she quickly crossed the floor, sending locking charms to all the doors on her way.

"Well, this is most unexpected," she chuckled, suddenly understanding her son's behaviour. She conjured a seat for herself, as well as one for the increasingly nervous, recently exposed boy standing in front of her. "Am I correct in assuming that this is your first time?" Harry nodded his head in agreement, the capacity for speech having temporarily left him. "Well done. You've done an excellent job. I would never have guessed at the truth. I am curious though, why?"

This Harry could answer. Taking a deep breath, he replied, "at first it was a case of mistaken identity. My cousin Dudley had somehow implied to Vin that I was a girl. Upon receiving the party invite, it wasn't just the challenge of pulling this off that drew me. It was also the opportunity for anonymity and freedom that I've been longing for. For once, I could truly be my self. Plus," he added, "I saw no problem with being comfortable and looking great at the same time."

Narcissa chuckled along with Harry at his cheeky response. "Dudley. He's the Muggle boxer, right?" Harry nodded affirmative. "Which makes you the poor witch, no, wizard who just lost their Godfather. Correct?" Harry nodded his head once more, wondering where Narcissa was taking this line of questioning.

"Oh My," she gasped, eyes lighting up. "You definitely lead an interesting life, don't you Mr Potter." Harry froze at the use of his surname, internally freaking out. "Please, don't panic," Narcissa said, grabbing Harry's hands in an effort to calm him down. "I'm not going to tell anyone. In fact, I want to help you."

Harry stopped panicking immediately, interested. "Help me? How?" Narcissa smiled and stood up, looking Harry up and down once again.

"You know, you've pretty much covered everything already. Just a few charms and the odd glamour should complete the transformation." She waved her wand in intricate patterns, mumbling furiously under her breath. "There, I think that should suffice. Go ahead, have a look."

Harry rose and looked into the conjured mirror, gasping. His A-cup fake breasts, now charmed, stuck on his chest like a real pair, all soft and bouncy. Poking one slightly, Narcissa chuckled, causing Harry to look up at her. "A simple adhesion spell and quick transfiguration to make them more realistic. I doubt that anyone would ever guess that their not the genuine article now. Plus I've put glamour over your groin area, to prevent any questions coming up." Harry stepped forward and hugged Narcissa, blinking back a few tears.

"Thankyou, Thankyou so very much," he said, stepping back.

"That's not everything yet. I also want you to take this," Narcissa said, smiling as a miniaturised book fell into her palm. "It's a book of Wizarding beauty secrets and glamour spells. It should also contain the spells I've just used." Fighting the tears that once more were threatening to fall and ruin his mascara, Harry placed the book into his handbag as a loud knocking was heard.

"Ah, that would be Draco and Blaise. I'd better let them in now. Don't worry," she added, seeing the look of apprehension cross Harry's features, "you're secrets safe. They'll never know. One word of advice though," she added, raising her wand to unlock the doors, "I'd stick to Draco if I were you. You aren't Blaise's type at all."

"What have the two of you been doing in here," Draco asked, casting an appreciative eye over Harry's skimpily clad form, but glaring suspiciously at his mother.

"Just a bit of girly chat," Narcissa replied, smiling at Draco's evident unspoken approval and attraction to a calm, relaxed, faintly blushing Harry. _Boy_, she thought, _that child is a brilliant actor .If as much of the 'boy-who-lived is a construct as I suspect, then we've all underestimated him, big time_.

"Nice nickers there, Harmony," Blaise wolf whistled from the door way, "But you're still too thin. I like my women soft, round and with killer curves." _Oh_, Harry thought, _that's what Narcissa was talking about_.

"Excuse me." Harry bought the attention back to himself. "I'd like to get dressed now, if you don't mind. It's kind of drafty in this room, and I'd rather not get cold." Almost instantly, Harry was dolled up in a sky blue ski parka, matching slimline ski pants, white yeti boots, a pink striped beanie and fluffy ear muffs. Sending a swift glare at a grinning Blaise, Harry conjured his own outfit –a tight teal corset, shredded black skirt that fell to mid shin length, thick soled knee high boots, netting gloves and dark makeup.

"Not bad," Draco exclaimed, a glazed look crossing his features at the more gothic, androgynous Harmony standing before him. Smiling once again at Draco's actions, Narcissa changed Harry's outfit, dressing him in a tight pair of jeans complete with diamond detailing and a black bat-winged top displaying a glittery silver cat and the words 'black magic'. His boots, gloves and makeup were left as they were. Two swishes and a flick transformed Harry's hair; dead straight tendrils hanging moodily around his face with the rest pulled up in slightly messy pony tail. Harry quickly changed his clutch's colour to turquoise, stowed his lotus accessories inside and transfigured his spare bobby pins into silver and turquoise bracelets, earrings and a necklace. _Watch out Slytherin, here I come_. Grinning, Harry gathered Narcissa into another hug.

"My pleasure, Harmony," Narcissa smiled, returning the hug, much to the surprise of the gob smacked Draco and Blaise. They had never seen Narcissa move away from her icy persona so quickly around anyone before. "I'd like to get to know you better, Harmony," Narcissa whispered in his ear. "I hope you don't mind."

"That'd be great," Harry whispered, ending the hug. He smiled happily at the thought. Who would ever have guessed?

"Now dear," Narcissa said to Harry, "I want you to know that you can owl me about anything if you need to, alright?" Harry nodded, grateful that she had provided a legitimate reason for any correspondence. "Draco," she added just before they stepped through the door, "remember to play nice tonight."

* * *

Thankyou to everyone who reviewed - I danced for each and every review. Some of you are very perceptive, but then I'm being more than half obvious, aren't I. So raise your glasses and lets hope that the next chapter comes out sooner than this one did. Enjoy!

* * *


End file.
